Nice Guys Finish First

In my past I have been drawn in to relationships mostly by persons who fall into the bad boy, rebel, adventurer personalities, and nice guys did not fare so well in gaining my attention as a romantic interest. I am sure many people can relate to hearing or saying the words. “I like you. You’re really nice…” and knowing that is the code for letting a person know they are friendship material. It’s kind of the kiss of death for romantic interests when a person hears that. The other week I said these words to someone, yet it was the first time I caught myself saying it and knowing that it did not mean that at all. For once I am looking for nice. Nice is under rated. I could really use someone nice in my life. I’ve heard it said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. I am doing something new. This time around nice guys finish first.

The ViewI met someone a few weeks ago who is really nice. We have been spending the past couple of Thursdays together and I’ve been getting to see new places I never been to in the city and also attending the theater. One night we went to the Marriot Marquis NYC, where I have to admit I was a bit suspicious about being taken to a hotel! I truly thought several times about calling a couple of friends just in case I should happen to disappear and I admitted this much to my new companion later in the evening hehe. At the top of the Marriot Marquis there is The View, a restaurant and also a lounge that rotates 360 degrees, to enjoy a view of the city and its landmark buildings. If you go early in the evening you can sit in the lounge area without any cover charge and simple order drinks while you enjoy the beautiful panoramic views. On the bottom side of cocktail napkins there is map of the landmark you can see as the floor rotates. If you go after 8pm there is a cover charge per person on top of the cost of your drinks. If you are looking for a quiet open and peaceful area to get in out of the cold weather you can also go to the 8th floor lobby of the Marquis and sit to enjoy a good conversation. One day after I had attended a morning job training seminar I met up with my new friend at the Marriot Marquis and did just that. I had some fresh green grapes and we sat and talked while we shared my grapes. We talked about doing that again with a little bigger picnic basket. You see this is how new Yorkers picnic in the winter! Something I enjoy about spending time with a native New Yorker is that they know all the cool niches in the city.

WiesenthatLast week I was invited to see off Broadway theatre productions. I feel like guy is the Theater Ticket Wizard. He has magic powers at finding fun and fascinating shows for us to attend. We went to two plays recently. One was “Wiesanthal” and the other was an interactive comedy called, “Going Once! Laughing Twice!” Wiesenthal is about a man who survived the Holocaust who spends the rest of his life chasing and bringing Nazis to justice for their war crimes. It’s the first time I have ever seen a one man show and it was brilliant. The show is billed as being filled with hope, humanity, and humor. I was very curious to see how humor was going to be infused into a topic about the Holocaust. This show turned out to be incredible. I feel really lucky that at the performance we attended there was a Talk Back with Tom Dugan after the play. The audience had a lot of great questions to ask Mr. Dugan who stars in and wrote this play. I give it 5 out of 5 stars. The other play we saw, “Going Once, Laughing Twice!” was totally the opposite type of theatre experience in regard to style and content. I believe if you have a “little” personality you will thoroughly enjoy this play. This interactive comedy is set in an art auction house.  We received an auction paddle to signal our bids, auction dollars to bid with, and of course with high caliber art auction house there will be bubbly and hor d’oeuvres! I was so excited talking to the actors before and during the play. At first I didn’t realize the interactive part of the play starts before the play, but I caught on quickly as we waited in the “lobby” area. I did get to bid on a number of different items and even had a winning bid on one item! I had so much fun I wouldn’t mind at all going again and perhaps bringing a few more friends along with us. Mr. Nice Guy suggested as much the other day. That he could get us as many as four passes and in the future possibly as many as up to 8 passes to some events and we could invite on a first come first serve basis some of the Little Scouts Troop 212 members. It is a truly wonderful thing to have someone take an interest in what brings me happiness. I am pleased to be embracing “nice” as a preferred quality in my friendships and romantic interests. I am making more space in my life for “nice” people.

On the topic of nice guys, play writes, and plays, my leather sister Stacey’s Master has recently written a play that has a main character who falls into the Mr. Kinky Nice Guy category. It’s called, “Fred and Rose.” The screen play’s main characters has a couple where one is nice and the other is the rebel pushing the limits. Fred is cursed with the Mr. Nice Guy syndrome and it is interesting to see how this play unfolds, but I don’t want to give away the ending should one day this play become produced! I haven’t seen Master J in a few weeks. I’m expecting to go visit him next week out in Connecticut. First time I ever visited there, Master J drove Stacey and I around thrift store shopping! I love thrift store shopping. It’s like treasure hunting!  When he saw my attachment to a small teddy bear he bought it for me. You know the little bear only cost something in between $1.00 to $3.00, but I love her and it meant so much to me when he insisted he buy it for me. We named it Trust Fund Bear, she is a snobby, petite, feminine bear. She stays in Connecticut with Master J, so when I come visit I always have a stuffy to snuggle with and do not need to bring one of my New York stuffy friends. When I think about this what I feel is that nice guys should finish first more often. Nice feels really damn good and I plan to keep welcoming nice people in my life.

clean boots

The handy work of Mommy’s Jaybird

On a final note… Last night was a Thursday and I chose to pay back a self-imposed leather debt. I give my time to a few women I’ve recently met who asked for help to learn about boot blacking and leather care. Some years ago my friend chris took time to help me get hands-on experience and show me the first steps to basic care. She also shared stories with me about how she got started and experiences she had along the way. The stories she shared had a big impact on my passion for boot blacking. When people ask for help, I think of chris, and I feel a need to give back and I feel honored to be able to be someone’s small stepping stone into discovering the joy of caring for leathers. I think about these women thanking me for taking time to get them started and all I can think is that it is me who needs to thank them. Thank you for asking me, thank you for letting me a part of your leather, thank you for giving me the chance to help me nurture a baby boot black and give back what was shared with me. By allowing me to share a little bit of myself with these ladies, they feed my soul, and this is why I tell people, giving is never really altruistic.


2 thoughts on “Nice Guys Finish First

  1. i’m smiling for your happiness and the hard work you did to get to a place where you could enjoy Mr Nice Guy. Here’s to hoping he’s also Mr. Kinky Nice Guy. 😀 i will forever be thankful for you teaching me how to care for Sir Raven’s boots. It is truly one of my greatest pleasures in life. Love ya Sis!

  2. You know that anytime Sir Raven needs her chaps cared for all she has to do is put them on and I will be will to make the tremendous sacrifice of going up to the Bronx to help you make sure they are thoroughly cleaned and conditioned. Such is the burden of a bootblack 😉

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