Archive | March 2015

On Packing Up and Letting Go

I am still at the “not yet” phase, but each day I feel more healed from the harm that was done. I feel more of the incredible woman I was before someone I loved gave me this box full of darkness. Each day I am closer to feeling that this too was a gift…

In Others' Words...

Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness.  It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.

Mary Oliver

house

In July of 2012 I was packing up my house to put it on the market. I’d filed for divorce. My soon to be ex-husband had quit his job, and I’d been a stay at home mom for nearly 13 years. There was simply no way for us to stay in what I had once considered to be our dream home- the house I’d truly believed we would live in forever. Where we would have family reunions, where the kids would get married in the backyard, where we would grow old together. The day we moved in I saw all of those things stretched out in front of us.

backyard2

Cut to less than two years later. I’ll be honest, I couldn’t have cared less about leaving that house…

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Ice Skating

ice skatesWhen I was a little girl, I dreamed of becoming an Olympic Figure Skater. I think I must haven been four years old the first time I skated. I had these little metal skates with double blades that strapped on to my shoes. I’m sure by the time I was in second grade, if not earlier, I was asking for lessons. Figure skating lessons were the one thing my parents couldn’t give me though. The arena where I could get the lessons I needed was too far away and the time parents have to devote to a child that wants to be a serious figure skater is a luxury they did not have to give me. You see, at that time, my father was being treated for cancer. Yet, I was always allowed to stay out at the rink behind my school, even past dark, as often as I wanted to spend my hours skating across the ice. It was my joy, my passion. As I grew older I never stopped skating. I never forgot my dream. Continue reading