Tag Archive | Leather girls

A Handful


It was disheartening hearing so many times that I’m too much of this, too  much of that; or not enough of this , not enough of that. Too opinionated, too independent, too much energy, too talkative, too assertive, too many ideas, too sexual etc. Not submissive enough, not obedient enough, not quiet enough, not respectful enough, and whole bunch of other not enough. I’m so grateful that is the past. Goodbye.

Today I have a Daddy who tells me while laughing and with a smile that I am a handful and that’s why she’s got two hands. She loves that I have a mind and use it. She welcomes my ideas and suggestions. She says I have ”a great memory… maybe too good” at times. I’m encouraged to share my wants and desires. And my Daddy loves to hold me, hold my hand, pet my hair, and show me affection. I know I’m a handful, but she never makes me feel like that’s a bad thing and for that I’m truly grateful. Some times Daddy gets tired and she needs rest. So, I tuck her in and take care of her. We take care of each other. I love her.




The last month or more I have been having steady Fridates with one of my leather sisters Stacey la Tejena. Fridays are for me what Saturdays are for most other people and Saturday mornings are my Sundays. Pretty much my social life is one day behind the norm. I haven’t been part of the majority in many areas of my life for years, so that I find myself one day behind the rest of the social world is not too bad hehe. One of the things I have enjoyed about being single in the city is that I have been able to cross a lot of my want to do things off my bucket list. I’m not a native New Yorker, so I find a lot of joy in catching some of the traditional touristy sites and adventures. I am kinky and so that sometimes includes things on my list that an everyday NY tourist might not have on the list, but generally kinky people are just like everyone else with some added twists.

Last week was Black Friday here in the US and I spent it in rather unconventional ways. I haven’t gone out on Black Friday in years, maybe, quite seriously, decades. I have an aversion to large, tight, aggressive crowds and there is no saving amount that can get me to intentionally put myself through that psychological discomfort to buy material items. Also I kind of have a thing against conforming to buying gift on preset commercially assigned dates of the calendar. I am not against buying gifts at all, I just do not feel I need to wait until an assigned giving date that society has predetermined for me. So, I was invited by Stacy girl to go out to Connecticut for the weekend to visit with her former Dom J. Stacy and I hopped on the Metro North line and for $5.50 found ourselves in Stamford, Ct and waiting at the station to be picked up by J. We were promptly collected at the station and whisked away to his new home that I must say he has done an outstanding job of organizing and even managed to not make it look too much like a man cave! Truly it is a very nice and comfy apartment. J made a day bed into a sofa and I was telling jade that it is awesome! It’s like a big play pen. Continue reading

I Am The Good Wolf

This has been a wonderful weekend for me with many things going on in the city. I awoke much too early and my mind was a bit flooded with images and thoughts of all that has gone on this weekend, but this is not bad. I sent out some thank you notes, did a little casual web surfing, and updated some information on a profile. I am feeling renewed and realizing a sense of my former peaceful self again.

The weekend started out with an invitation from my leather sister and her Daddy to a birthday karaoke party. So, Friday evening found three introverts and one Build-a-Bunny on the way to midtown NYC. None of us even remotely have any singing talent. All went well though since it seems the rest of the crew did and they were contented to permit me and my little sister to be their attentive audience. We just sat and had our cocktails, ate the food snacks, and smiled a lot. There was all kinds of dancing, and singing, and moving to the grooving… umm ya… and someone drank a bit too much and was doing “the robot”. Not me! What the world decade is that from?! The bestest part were the cupcakes. Birthday boy had four dozen cupcakes with rum shots. We snuck the cupcakes outside and ate them on the sidewalk. It was a very messy deal. We devoured the cupcakes, walked past Bryant Park and took a train home. I sat alone opposite my friends on the train and tried to stay awake and fight off that twilight sleep. I almost make it to their home and I fall asleep one stop before ours. Me+alcohol=sleep fast. I was gently woken by a soft hand rubbing my cheek. That made me happy. 😀 Continue reading

“Jinx! …”

The surPrize!

The surPrize!

“…You owe me a Coke”
“No, I don’t. Why?”
“We said it at the same time and I called, ‘Jinx!’, so you owe me a Coke”
“I didn’t consent to the game.”
“But everybody knows the game.”
“Well, I didn’t know the game and I didn’t consent, so I don’t owe you a Coke.”
“but that’s the rules!”
“I didn’t know the rules.”
“Everybody knows the rules.”
“Well, I didn’t know the rules, and I am somebody, so clearly not everybody knows the rules. I can’t owe you a Coke for a game I didn’t consent to and with rules I didn’t consent to.”
“Yea, but you owe me a Coke.”
“Well, I didn’t consent, but… I will get you a Coke! I saw a special one I wanted to get for you anyway as a surprise.”
“Ooohh, I like the one with the polar bear… Is it a bear?”
“I said it’s a surprise. If I tell you then it’s not a surprise…”

This a real conversation I had yesterday, with my little leather sister Jade. I was just being silly about the consent. It did get me thinking though about the simple need of having rules, consent, and expectations.

Some people think it’s okay, even good, to let things develop organically within a D/s relationship. It sounds nice in theory, the idea of, “let’s just see where this goes.” The more I think about it though, that is a little scary for me. That didn’t go so well for me in my past. In reality I was unhappy a lot of the time. I kept asking for structure, some rules, or rituals. I can’t thrive in “organic”, if it ends up feeling a lot more like chaotic. Organic produce takes a lot of attention and effort and I feel that hierarchical relationships are that way too. They need more attention, not less. Organic wouldn’t be a bad words as long as people accept that to get the great healthy harvest, effort has to be placed into the crop and fields.

I know that a this point, I feel a bit insecure without some rules and order from the start. Without that I am left continually guessing, and then when I do not guess correctly I am left feeling like a failure. I feel it’s important to begin laying a solid structure at the very beginning. I need to have some small successes at the start.  I think it’s really good though to talk about rules and expectation at the very start and to put some doing behind the words. Earn it everyday from both sides of the slash. Not this crap about “If you give me your submission, then I will dominate you” type of stuff. Today I forgive myself for telling the story in my head that, “If I had just done x,y,z…” or some other similar story that puts me at blame for the epic fails. Fuck that noise. If you didn’t inspire me, as a dominant, then that is on you, not me.

Keeping it realer than most.

Two girls, One Leather Daddy

One of the missions of The Dark Lair is to give people of color a venue to gain experience presenting on BDSM topics. In that theme a couple of months ago the topic was, “You are the Presenter”. People were encouraged to come and give 10 minute demos on a topic of their choice. To support The Dark Lair, and to lead from example, I offered to do a 10 minute demo on Leather Care. I was inspired to alter a demo I have been working on called, “Lust, Love, Leather: Boots 101” and make it a brief demo touching on the idea of passing on boot blacking and leather care skills, how paying it forward keeps the leather spirit alive. Also, instead of doing the common scene that briefly demonstrated leather care on boots, I wanted to show leather care of a garment… chaps.

The inspiration for the variation of my leather care class came to me from an event that happened a few weeks prior when a friend asked me if I thought it was possible to teach her to care and condition her Daddy’s boots. I told her, that of course I can teach her and she was overjoyed. It turns out that a number of people that she had asked in the past had told her it was impossible for her to do boot blacking, because she is blind. I let her know that the Mid Atlantic Bootblack 2013, Amelia Chan, was blind.  So, when the opportunity arouse to practice a variation of my class, I went and recruited Sir Raven with her chaps and her girl Jade.  I got a chance to speak a little about being leather and what that meant to me. Paying forward what others have shared with me and keeping leather spirit alive. Then there was the spectacular hands on demonstration of Sir Raven, standing with her chaps on, flanked on both sides by girls who were ready to leather up, clean, and condition her leather chaps. It was a good time for all!

Sir Raven felt we had done a good job and said we girls would be rewarded with a trip to Alice’s Tea Cup. I am not so sure that we did such an excellent job on actually cleaning her chaps, but I suspect Sir Raven was just proud of us for being two girls who were willing to get up in front of a group of people and give back to our community.  So, today, two girls got a special treat from an awesome Daddy. Thank you Sir Raven for making me feel valued and special. I appreciate both of you and feel honored to call you friends.